“Assertiveness is not what you do, it’s who you are!” – Shakti Gawain

There is a huge difference between being assertive and being aggressive. Being assertive is a way of living where you get the most out of life without other people telling you how to do it. This simple means: You do not need to be obnoxious, agressive, or rude to get it your own way.

You cannot just jump in with both feet and decide, “Hey, I’m going to be assertive and no one will be pushing me around anymore. No more Mr. Nice Guy!” Learning how to be assertive requires a new mindset and plan. Remember, it takes time to learn how to be assertive and not aggressive. Find a coach to help you become more assertive. Then ask yourself these questions:

1.What are my values?
2.What are my core beliefs about life?
3.How do I feel about myself?
4.What are my approaches to life? Do these approaches work?

The fact that your reading this article says a lot. It says you are seeking for improvements in life. Change starts with awareness. You are aware that you need to change; you just do not know how to get started. It is time to learn why you do what you are doing and how to turn that around. Remember, you cannot just turn on a switch and instantly become assertive in life.

Mark Twain said, “We do not deal much in facts when we are contemplating ourselves.” In order to become assertive and in charge of your life, you must be honest with yourself. Dr. Phil is always saying that you cannot change what you do not acknowledge. It is time to figure out what you are hiding from yourself.

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Do you consistently fall short when it comes to acheiving your life goals?
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Are you just drifting along with no plan, goals, and idea?
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Are you stuck in a comfort zone that gives you no new challenges?
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Are you not getting enough of what you really want out of life and getting way too much of what you do not want?
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Are you living a life with guilt or frustration and are struggling to change things?

What is at stake here is the quality of your life. Would you like to live a fullfilling and authentic life? Or are you okay with someone else calling the shots and making decisions for you for the rest of your life?

Do you feel like you are constantly being pushed around? Do you feel taken advantaged of by friends and family members? Do friends, family members or co-workers try to tell you how to run your life? Do you feel that you are ready to start living life in your own terms?

You need not accept burdens like those listed above. You can assert yourself and reach for something better. You have the right and the ability to have what you want out of life. Let me warn you though, change does not come in an instant.

Assertiveness is something that must be learned carefully one step at a time. This is especially true if you have spent years following others telling you what to do, how to do it, what to think, what to feel, etc. How motivated are you to change and learn to assert yourself?

Think about those people who run our world. Whether it is business, politics, sports, or entertainment, there is one common denominator for all these people. These people know which buttons to push to get what they want. Some of these people are extremely intelligent and articulate, while others are merely manipulative. Some are unconcerned whether you agree with them and share their views. Others are rabid in demanding that you fall in line with them. They feel that they know best and this gives them the authority to tell everyone what they should be doing and saying. It is their way or the highway.

Be jazzed about your life! Learn to assert yourself and get what you want out of life. This is your life and not a dress rehearsal! Perhaps it is time to learn new skills on how to do better, to learn how to be more assertive.